I have been doing alot of thinking lately about my New Year's Resolutions. I have always made resolutions, but at the end of the year, I think to myself "Why do you even bother." To be honest with you... I mean completely honest, it is hard for me to keep my resolutions and say at the end of the year that I stuck to it and completed the task. That is so embarrassing for me to say that, but it is the honest truth and I hate lying. I actually can't stand it when people lie to me and well quite frankly I don't trust liars. So, I am not going to sit here and lie to you and tell you that I make resolutions and stick to them til the end of the year.
So, with all of that being said.... I am not really sure that I am going to make "RESOLUTIONS" this year. Perhaps I can call it something else.... could I call it a goal, a task, a chore or should I just call it a year long errand (lol). Now that just sounds too funny if you ask me. Every year at this time, I sit down and make my list and about 2-3 weeks out, I am failing miserably and saying "oh heck with it" and then I just give up. I am definitely not one to give up and for me to give up so easily is just crazy. I mean who wants to be known as a failure!?! Certainly not me so I definitely need to get things in order and work something out where I will reach all of my goals and be successful at them..... for once!
My most famous goal that I write down every single year is to lose weight and well that isn't going to change this year. It will definitely stay on my list and hopefully I will lose some of this weight. Another goal of mine for this year is for my faith to become stronger. Once again, I will be completely honest and tell you that I love my God with all of my heart and soul, but I have not been a faithful servant and I am hoping and praying that with this New Year that I will have a new and fresh start and that my relationship with him will become stronger. I pray daily already and I give all the glory to God for everything that he has done for me and my family, but I guess that I just feel like there is something still missing. You see - awhile back, we went to a GREAT church. We were involved and really enjoyed the sermons and truly enjoyed the music. I at one point tried out for the choir, but was told that I didn't really have the voice. I guess the last thing that I really needed especially when I was just getting into the church, really starting to find my niche was to be told that I didn't have the voice to sing in the choir. I guess a part of me always thought that it wasn't about having the "perfect voice", but just about singing for God and making music that would more or less make God and his heart smile. I was told by the choir director that he would send me some music so I could practice and when it came time for try-outs again then I could be ready. Well, I waited and waited and my husband who was good enough for the choir even mentioned that I was still waiting on the music. Well, months and months later.... I was still waiting and never received a single bit of music. To be honest with you - it hurt and it crushed me and I think that was the straw that broke the camels back. It was months later that I quit going and haven't found the perfect church for us to attend yet. We have gone to so many churches and we either like the sermon, but are looking for something more in the music or we like the music and the sermon is lacking or well we don't like anything about the church. So, with the New Year we are hoping and praying that we find a church family and a church that we feel like we can call home. Don't get me wrong.... I know that there isn't a perfect church out there, but I feel very strongly that you have to feel comfortable when you walk in to church, you should feel welcome and you should really enjoy it and most importantly..... you should feel like you were fed God's word after you left. So, here is to praying to God that he will allow us to find the pretty close to perfect church and feel comfortable with our decision. I also want to continue to be the best wife to my husband that I can be and still continue to be the best Mom that Cameron could have ever asked for. Life isn't easy, but I know that if we keep God in the center of our world then everything will fall into place.
Hope you all have made your New Year's list and here is to hoping that you all can stick to it. Together I am sure we can accomplish everything!!