Two years ago today I was getting ready to go to my doctors office for what I was hoping would be my last appointment before Cameron arrived. You see, I was expecting this little boy that I never really thought I would become pregnant with and well things proved me wrong. I always knew that with God all things were possible, but I never really understood the whole thing about things not happening in my time, but in God's time.
After we lost a child in 2004, I would often be seen as one of those women that would probably just sit and stare at mother's with children. It wasn't that I was stalking them, but I was simply admiring such a beautiful sight and hoping and praying that I would be in their shoes someday. I could sit for hours and watch children play and just smile and smile. All I wanted was to get down and play with the kids, but I never wanted their parents to think that I was some crazy woman. It was such a difficult time for me. I was without a child, I had lost a child and all I ever wanted was a child of my own. We tried for years to get pregnant and nothing happened, we went through so much in order to make our dreams come true, to have a baby of our own and little did I know that I was rushing things and wanting them to happen in my time. I don't think that things really started going "our" way until I turned it all over to God. I sat and cried and told God that I have been in control for years now and nothing has happened and I couldn't seem to understand why. I got down on my knees and I told God that I was handing it all over to him, I was going to try my best to stay positive, keep the faith and hand it all over to him. I was just getting ready to go through IVF and that is when I gave it all over to God. I put him in control and I let him take the wheel and he definitely did. I look back on that day and I must admit that it was so hard for me to do, but I am so very happy that I did. Still to this day, it is a hard thing for me to do, but once I realize that I don't get anywhere with me trying to run things that is when I hand it all over to God. Oh trust me, things don't always go my way, but within time things are always revealed and then I see why things weren't suppose to go my way.
So, I guess what I am saying is if you feel as though you are the one that is dealing with some difficult times and struggles and you feel as though you aren't going anywhere fast then try turning it all over to God and see where it takes you. Granted it might not take you where you want to go, but within time you will see why God took you on that particular route. Life isn't easy, but I do know that Nothing is Impossible with God. I am definitely proof of that and so is my little boy.
Yep, 2 years ago today, I went in for my last doctors appointment before Cameron was born. I was asked if I wanted to wait until the 10th or go in today and of course my excitement to meet my son outweighed everything. I was so excited to meet this little blessing that was about to be born. I was finally going to see this precious little baby that had been growing in my belly for 38 1/2 weeks. This tiny little baby that had grown from the size of a piece of rice to a 7 lb 3.3 oz baby boy. A child that had made me sick throughout my whole pregnancy, but made me overlook all of that and make me enjoy him growing and moving inside me. He was simply the best thing that God has ever blessed my husband and I with. He truly was a gift from God the moment he was conceived and now almost 2 years later he still is the best gift that I could have ever asked for. I don't really ask for much anymore because I feel as though I have been blessed more then anyone in this whole entire world... I went from being a woman that wanted so desperately to be a Mom to a Mom that wants for nothing more since she has her own child. I was happy before my son came along, but there was something missing and a part of my heart was so empty and I knew that there was a special place in my heart reserved just for a little child and indeed God saw it fit to bless me and fill that empty place in my heart. Would you believe me if I told you that my heart is so happy and complete now? Well, I have to admit.... my heart is indeed a happy place because it is filled with so much love from my husband and now my son.
I will leave you with this.... if you haven't seen the movie Facing the Giants then I highly recommend that you watch it. You will see what I am talking about and you will know that in life there may be some GIANTS out there that you have to face, but with God by your side NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Here is a song that was played during the movie Facing the Giants. You will need to pause my music at the bottom of my blog page and then hit play. Definitely a great song!! If you ever get the chance to go see Casting Crowns in concert then do it - They are AWESOME and put on an excellent show!! You can tell that the spirit is moving during their concerts!!!!