Friday, December 12, 2008

Hard Times

Well, this has indeed been a difficult week for many in my family. My in-laws continue to be so helpful and I can't get over how wonderful they are and how blessed I am that they are in my life. They continue to take care of Cameron while I am recovering which is great help, but I can't help, but to miss my little buddy boy. Today, Cameron went to spend the day with Shawn's Dad and I sit here in the house alone. I guess everyone feels as though I should be enjoying the peace and quiet, but to be honest with you.... I rest easier when I know that Cameron is close by. I just miss him and next week doesn't sound like it will be any better. I have asked for help from others in my family however it seems as though it is just such a difficult task that I just end up forgetting the whole thing. It is a shame that you can't count on ceratin people to help you out in difficult situations. I realize that others have their lives too, but seriously isn't that what family is suppose to be about? Taking care of one another?
Anyway, it has been a week today since I had my surgery and I feel as though I am doing better every day. My incisions look pretty good except the bruising which is a bright yellow and I am taking my pain pills, but I am not taking them as frequently so that is an improvement (I think). I still sometimes think that I should be doing alot better sooner, but I guess that is just me and who I am. I wish I wasn't down and out and not able to do things around the house or help out, but that is just the person that I am. Hopefully, things will just keep improving everyday. Good News is that I am finally all caught up with reading everyone's blogs and leaving comments so, I hope that I didn't leave anyone out!!
On another note and my main reason for needing to get better fast..... as I mentioned previously, Shawn's parents were over last night until Cameron fell asleep. Well, his Grammy gave him a bath which he really enjoyed and then he came downstairs and played for a little while longer before bed. Well, Grampy took Cameron halfway up the steps and then he changed his mind on wanting to go to bed. He came over to me and hung out by my legs for a little while and then I sat and had a talk with him while he stood beside me. After talking to him and reassuring him that everything would be ok.... I climbed the steps to take him to his bed and Grammy followed. I guess he just needed his Mommy to take him up there, give him some hugs and kisses and tell him that everything would be ok. It is nice to know that he still wants and needs me and that warms my heart especially during this time when I feel like he could take me or leave me. Hmmm, yep it sounds like a pity party for me - huh? Well, I will stop with the pity party and call to check in on Cameron. If you could please keep me all in your prayers.... I need the strength to cope with everyday that I am away from Cameron. I know it sounds strange, but when I tried forever to conceive Cameron and it finally took..... we were blessed, we were blessed beyond our wildest imagination and I can't stand it when we are apart. Cameron and I are just best of buddies and this separation time is difficult for me and I am sure it is difficult on him too. I literally never knew how much love my heart could hold until I had my little boy and that love grows deeper and stronger everyday. It is AMAZING!!


Stacy C. said...

I know it's hard being away from him. Hopefully the time flies by.

I understand about the family helping thing. I am the oldest sibling and my mom has passed and my dad well I don't know where he is. But I always have to help everyone. I'm not complaining about it either but when I need help no one can be found.

Kelly said...

We have a similar family situation here too and it is a shame on all counts.
You are still in my prayers.
I know what you mean about separation anxiety. I got chewed out by most everyone bc I never left CJ. EVER. If he could not come, I did not go. And if I had NO choice, then it was not for long, an hour, two tops.
He was three (this past July) when he spent his first night away from home (at my Mom's) with out us.
It is hard. Children change our lives in every way.
In a couple years, you will learn to enjoy the quiet time, bc it is so seldom. ;) You just aren't there yet. And that is OK...there are a lot of time I still am not there. And my boy is twice your son's age. lol

He And Me + 3 said...

So glad that you are feeling better each day. I know it is hard to be away from the kids and not be in full Mommy mode. It killed me to be away from my kids for 3 days straight when I was in isolation for my radioactive iodine treatment. They were happy to see me on the 4th day & yes I missed 3 days of their lives, but they picked up right where we left felt so good to be loved just the same as before I left.
Praying for a quicker recovery for you!

Debra said...


It does not sound like a pity sounds like you are hurting. And sometimes you need to let it out.

Having a strong bond with your son is great. I didn't leave my children alone or away at other people's homes..I was considered a very over protective Mom. But that's the way God made me too.

It's ok. Keep pressing in close to the Lord. Soak in as much of His Word as you can. As much rest as you can get the quicker your body will heal and the quicker you can get back to Mommy business.

I'm praying for you!

((hugs)) to you!

Aspiemom said...

I remember the first time I had to be separated from my son, I was in the hospital for several days and was an hour from home. It was so hard!

I'm sorry that more family isn't being thoughtful and helpful. My parents are great, but I have to say my husband is clueless much of the time and friends really don't have a clue. I think people are so absorbed in their own lives, they don't stop and think.