Monday, September 1, 2008

Things NOT TO SAY to couples struggling with INFERTILITY

When you are going through INFERTILTY, you hear many comments from people. Some may be good and some may be bad, but the majority of people out there don't really know what to say to couples going through infertility. Here are some things NOT TO SAY to couples that are struggling with infertility. These are comments that I heard on a regular basis and everytime I heard them, it made it hurt even more.

1) Don't Say "You can always try again next month"
2) Don't Say "Maybe you aren't meant to be parents"
3) Don't Say "Just Relax or take a vacation"
4) Don't Say "Try not to think about it"
5) Don't Say "You are still young and have plenty of time to have children"
6) Don't Say "You should try standing on your head after sex"
7) Don't Say "You must be having fun trying"
8) Don't Say "You should just adopt, then you will get pregnant"
9) Don't Say "Try losing some weight and then you will get pregnant"
10) Don't Say "You can borrow one of my kids"
11) Don't Say "Things could be worse"
12) Don't Say "If it is meant to be then it will happen"
13) Don't Say "Just enjoy this time without kids"
14) Don't Say "Maybe it's not in God's Plan
15) Don't Say "You're trying to hard"
16) Don't Say "Maybe you should eat healthier and exercise"
17) Don't Say "Perhaps you could be a foster parent"
18) Don't Say "Try Drinking More Water"


bsabulsky said...

I think you should try and stand on your head!!! lol...that is a good one! Seriously, sorry if I have ever said any of those things to ya....if I did, it was meant out of care and love for you guys :)

Stacie Rodgers said...

I have heard all of those. I just had to chuckle reading the list. It is great. I think the best was when someone said "Well maybe you aren't doing it right" I looked at them without skipping a beat and said "Well since we don't know what we are doing then maybe you should come and show us. Here is my address and about the time we will be trying again". I can say that I thought the person was gonna faint. He never said much else about the baby thing again.

Jennifer said...

Or, when you finally do get pregnant after struggling with infertility, they say to you, "How far along are you? Oh...My friend just had a miscarriage and she had the same due date as you..."
That's always nice

Lyndsay said...

Hi there...I found your blog through Mck Mama's blog. Your story is almost exactly what my husband and I went through with a few big difference. I got pregant with IVF the second time, but miscarried and then 3 months later got pregnant naturally after 6 years of trying. Our son was born on January 15th 2007 so he is almost the same age as your son. When he was 8 months old we conceived again naturally. I was sure we would only have one baby so I was totally shocked to be blessed a second time. I too have heard these phrases over and over through the years. It's hard for others to understand and be compassionate when they haven't gone through the same thing. Thank you for sharing your story. If you'd like to visit my blog feel free...