Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Cameron is now 20 months

It is a rainy day here in Ohio. We need the rain so desperately. The grass is brown and is so ugly looking when normally it is plush, green and great for walking on. Cameron turned 20 months on September 6th. WOW, where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday when I was getting ready to go into the hospital to have him and now he is growing like there is no tomorrow. It is great seeing him learn and I am so very proud of him for everything that he knows when it comes to colors, numbers and well he talks so much and it all makes sense. He is really a smart boy!! It is funny when you think about it because a part of you is happy that he is growing and learning, but then a part of you still longs for those days when you could just lay him on your chest and snuggle all day or evening. Cameron is such a loveable little guy and don't get me wrong (he still snuggles) which I totally love and cherish, but one of these days we won't be able to do that anymore and it is sad.

I never really knew what my parents were talking about or how they felt when I moved out or came for a visit and then had to leave, but now I realize everything. I think to myself that I am not sure I will ever be able to let him go out on his first date, play sports, move out or get married. Ugh, it makes my heart ache just thinking about it. You don't want him to play sports because you are so afraid that he will get hurt and you never want to see that. You hate for him to go out on his first date because you hate to see him get hurt if it doesn't work out and well you hate to see him move out and get married because then he won't be around that much anymore. Hmmm, I guess it is a good thing that he is only 20 months and I still have time yet (hahahaha). My biggest wish is that he continues to be happy, finds love and is loved unconditionally. I just want what is best for my little guy. Who doesn't want that for their little one - right?

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