Friday, September 5, 2008

Finally dealing with Reality

Well, I think that I have finally accepted the fact that I might not get pregnant again or at least not right now. I have REALLY enjoyed not being on Clomid and to be honest it is nice not having a schedule as to when you need to have sex. I have more importantly enjoyed getting back to "who I am" which is really nice. Those fertility drugs can really do a doozy on you! It is strange, but I feel as though I have peace in my decision to stop trying to have Baby #2. If it happens later on down the road then that is perfectly fine with us. We are just enjoying giving all of our attention to Cameron and that is so much fun. Oh heck, perhaps we are only meant to have one child and Cameron fills our hearts and lives with so much joy and love that we are overwhelmed and so blessed every day. Shawn and I sit here and think to ourselves.... "How in the world did we ever live our lives without Cameron." You find yourself asking so many questions like that and then you think that you don't know how you ever did it, but glad you don't have to do it again. I now know and realize that not having Baby #2 isn't that difficult for me because I have Cameron. You could just spend a few minutes with Cameron and realize what I am saying. He is just so much fun and to be honest..... I don't think that there is ever a day that goes by that he doesn't smile all day long. He is the happiest little boy that I have ever known. I prayed before he was born and just asked God to bless me with a happy and healthy little boy. Indeed I was blessed, but way beyond my imagination. I will end my post today on a special little story to share with you.....

Last night we were sitting on the couch watching none other then Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I was sitting on the end of the couch and Cameron was sitting beside me. Shawn of course was sitting in his chair. As we were watching Mickey Mouse, Cameron decides that he doesn't want to sit next to me anymore, but wants to sit on top of me. Well, of course I don't mind at all. He is growing like a weed anyway and someday soon we won't be able to do that anymore. Anyway, he hops onto my lap and decides that he wants to lean back on my chest. Then he decides to take my hand and put it on his belly so that I am hugging him. He then tilts his head way back, touches my cheek, looks up at me and says "Love Ew Mommy". Let's talk about melting your heart!! Yep, he totally has me wrapped around all 10 fingers and 10 toes. Yep, I am smitten by his sweetness and love and I couldn't ask for a better relationship with my little boy. We are truly best of buddies. God has given me this most precious child and everday I am able to stay home with him and for that I am thankful to God and to my dear husband Shawn. Could I ask for anything more? Hmmm, I think I am pretty darn happy with the way things are. I am complete, but in so many different ways!!

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