I woke up in the morning to get ready for work. I was cramping something AWFUL. I decided to try to pull myself together and got up to shower, use the restroom and get ready for work. Well, I used the restroom and that was as far as I got. I was really hurting from the pain in my right side. It was a pain that I had never experienced before. I decided to lay back down and called off from work that day. Shortly after that I couldn't take the pain anymore and thought for sure that I was having a miscarriage or something else was terribly wrong. I called my doctor here in town and they told me to come on in and they would check things out. I got there and they got me right in. My blood pressure was extremely high and I was in horrible pain. They did an internal ultrasound only to find that I was indeed pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy. I was rushed in for EMERGENCY surgery. My doctor told me not to go home, but go directly to the hospital. The tears wouldn't stop falling..... the baby that we were so happy to be pregnant with would soon be taken from us. I got to the hospital and they rushed me back to get changed. It was all in about 10-15 minutes and I was soon off to the operating room. I remember saying good-bye to my husband, kissing him and apologizing to him for what was about to happen. My doctor would try to talk to me and I couldn't say a thing because of the crying. I was not only in pain, but I was already experiencing such a great loss, the loss of our first child. I remember them putting the mask over my face and waking up in my room shortly after. I woke up, got sick and remembered how numb I was after everything that happened. I see young women (girls, young girls) get pregnant and not take care of their kids. I see parents have kid after kid and sometimes take them for granted, I see abuse and it hurts me to the core. All I wanted was our baby back...... for things to be normal, for me to be normal. It was indeed a day that I won't ever forget. Here is a picture of a plaque that we put in our flower garden. It helps us to always remember the child that we lost on this day.
1 comment:
I can completely feel your pain when I read this post. I experienced not one but two ectopic pregnancies. It is trying. And believe me I had the same feelings you did about the people who have beautiful children and take them for granted.
I have a picture of my tattoo posted in blog that I drew to remind the world that I am a mommy even though I don't have a child here to hold.
We have ventured into the fertility drugs or IVF. Your little guy is adorable.
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