Well, I think the title of this post says it all. Late last night before going to bed I was overcome with some horrible cramping.... yep, it was indeed AF knocking down the doors to come in for her monthly visit. I had the doors and windows shut up nice and tight, but all you women know how AF is and if she wants to come, she will come whether you like it or not. I have been praying to God and asking him that if another baby is in his will for us then we will be blessed in his time. Unfortunately, with the years past and us trying our best to conceive we realized that things never happen in our time but in "God's Time". Perhaps, this isn't the right time for another baby or perhaps we are only meant to have our precious little Cameron and that is perfectly fine as well. As sad and disappointing as it may be, we also remember that we have Cameron who is just an all around perfect little angel. I was holding out hope til the last minute last night. I told myself that the cramping could be just like what I experienced when I was pregnant with Cameron, but that wasn't it at all. So, where do we go from here? Well, I am definitely NOT going to go back on Clomid. I just experience too many funky things when I am on that fertility drug and I just don't want to deal with that anymore. I think I will try taking a break from it all, perhaps try to lose some weight and just enjoy every single day that I have with my little boy. It is hard to understand when you have so many couples out there that are or could be GREAT parents, but just can't get pregnant again or can't have any children and then you have these other folks that can't take care of the kids that they have and keep popping them out.... it is upsetting and hard to understand. I have been through alot, but there are so many more couples out there that have endured so much more and still continue on with the emotional infertility roller coaster. It is a devastating blow when you have to deal with infertility. You grow up thinking that the world is this great place, that you will find prince charming, get married and have a family or at least that is what I thought and wanted for myself. Never in my world did I think that having a baby would be so difficult. I simply thought that it would just happen naturally and to be honest I never really even thought about the dreaded word "INFERTILITY". Wow, was I ever wrong in my thinking. Don't get me wrong here, I am so very blessed with my little boy and he truly is the most precious gift that I have been given. He starts my days out just perfectly when he calls out from his crib by saying my all time favorite word "Mommy" and he ends my evenings with a kiss and hug and then off he goes to the step calling out for "blankie" and "Mickey". He amazes me more and more ever day. He is so smart, he is just full of so much love and life and I couldn't ask for more, but for some reason I still do and for that I feel guilty. There goes that emotional roller coaster again!! Well, I will wrap things up for now. I am going to run in and get me some juice and some breakfast before my little angel wakes up for the day. Perhaps I will find peace in my decision to take a break from trying to have another child.....
I am a Christian, daughter, sister, wife, and a very proud Mommy to a beautiful little boy that was conceived through IVF. My husband and I have been married for over 7 years and truly enjoy every single day that we have with our little miracle. After a loss in 2004 and many years of infertility treatments we were finally blessed with our son in 2007. He is indeed a precious gift from God and we are so very blessed to have him in our lives.
During my free time I enjoy spending time with my family, thrift store shopping, making primitive signs & gameboards and re-finishing items with great prim potential.
Shawn - A kind, compassionate and loving husband and father. He brings so much more to the world of Daddyhood. He is my knight & shining armor and I love him dearly!
Cameron - Our pride & joy. The answer to our prayers and the love of our lives. Our little IVF miracle that is full of so much spunk and love. This little boy will always have you smiling or laughing. We love you our sweet boy!!
Cameron is growing, learning and exploring every day!! We are so proud of him.
Dealing with Infertility? Check Out These Helpful Sites
My journey with infertility started back in Feb. 2004 after we lost a child due to an ectopic pregnancy. I struggled for over a year to get pregnant and then decided to seek help. We tried 6 months of clomid, intrauterine insemination (2 times) and finally IVF. We were blessed with our little miracle in January 2007 after our first round with IVF. We are so happy and he is truly a gift from God. Our story is below...check back frequently as I am constantly adding more posts, pictures and funny stories.
I have prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27